Courage For Today

Road Map for Loving Others

I remember one particular occasion when my best friend and I were driving down the main highway on the way to Florida.  In those days, there were no GPS Navigational systems.  We were armed with an old fashioned paper road map of Georgia and Florida.  Off we went on our great adventure.  For the most part, we followed the map and stayed on the main Interstates and highways.  At one particular point in our journey, we both spotted what appeared to be an interesting dirt road.  Being the adventurous souls we were, we decided to take the dirt road and see where it led.  We calculated that we were a little ahead of schedule, time-wise, so why not?  We didn't see this particular local, small road on the map so we were just curious enough to want to check it out.  We drove over holes and ditches and rounded curves sliding from side to side.  It was a blast----until we drove over a ditch that was just a little too deep for our wheels.  We hit the ditch and the bottom of the car slammed into the ground and shook the tailpipe lose on the car.  Luckily, the car was still driveable.  Somehow, we managed to move the car from the ditch and quickly drove back to the main highway, continuing on to Florida without a muffler and sounding like an old Logging Truck.  I don't know how we made it without annoying the police, but somehow we did.  We managed to have the muffler and tailpipe repaired while we vacationed in Florida.  It would have been much easier had we just stayed on the main highway, but we couldn't resist the temptation to take the road less traveled.  Even though we had a Map showing the correct route and path we should have taken, we couldn't resist the urge to be adventurous.  It was a choice we made and, unfortunately, we made the wrong choice and paid a price.

I think we would all agree that the Bible is our road map for Life.  Speaking for myself, I wish I followed the map more often.  The other day I was reading a passage in 1st Peter which gives us one of those clear road maps we all need.  1st Peter Chapter 4, verses 7-12 says to be of sound judgment and keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.  Sometimes, having a fervent love is fairly easy and sometimes it's extremely difficult, depending upon the person and the situation.  Choosing to fervently love others is a choice, just like when we chose the wrong road to travel.  Making the wrong choice in how we love others often leads to bad consequences just as our road trip did many years ago.

Here are 4 things that I try to remember to strive for that have helped me over the years when dealing with others, especially those that may mistreat me.  You could say that this is my road map for loving others:

1. A Sound Mind:  We must show patience and love when dealing with others, especially those that mistreat us.  We all expect others to rise to our level.  We must be willing to meet others where they are and that takes patience.
2. A Submissive Prayer Life:  We must have a personal prayer life and also pray for others, submitting our Will to God's Will.  If we're honest, we're all selfish looking out for ourselves.  It's amazing how much stronger your prayer life becomes when you pray for others needs instead of just your own.
3. A Selfless Love:  We should all have a passion for helping others based on our gifts, abilities, and resources. Again, selfishness comes into play here.  Don't be afraid to get involved with others and help them meet their needs.  You'll be blessed and others will too.
4. A Spoken Witness:  We must allow Jesus to speak through us and work through our lives.   It doesn't do any good for God to speak to us if we don't act.  Have courage to be the witness and example to others that you know you should.

We're all faced with roads to travel and forks in the road to take, especially when dealing with others.  Make sure you follow God's Map and take the right course so that your love for others will be strong.

"Lord, thank you for reminding me today of the importance of following your direction.  Thank you for reminding me to be of Sound Mind; have a Submissive prayer life; have a Selfless love for others; and a Spoken Witness for You."

How to Keep Life in Perspective

I don't know about you, but sometimes when things don't go your way, there is a tendency to look at the negative.  In fact, I've met some folks that just automatically gravitate to the worse possible outcome in any scenario.  Having a common cold suddenly means you have cancer. Being late on a bill now means bankruptcy is around the corner.  Not having a good job interview plants in your mind that you'll never find a job.  If you find yourself in this frame of mind, I encourage you to begin working on changing your perspective.  Below are some suggestions and tips I've learned over the years that have helped me.  Start today giving them a try and see if your perspective doesn't change over time:

• Remember, you will be the average of the 5 people and 5 books you spend the most time with. Always surround yourself with what or who you wish to mirror.
• Remember to always make sure you take care of yourself; your home-base. Don’t neglect yourself or "me time" to help you relax.  Sometimes that may be simply reading for 30 minutes.  It may be taking a long, hot bath.  Whatever it is for you, make sure you leave yourself some downtime.
• A simple formula I use to help eliminate stress is what I call the 9-9-9 rule. Whenever I’m upset at something, I ask myself:  “will this matter in 9-days; 9-weeks; or 9 months?”  If the answer is no to all 3, it’s most likely not worth worrying about.
• Make sure you connect with others, but avoid comparing yourself with others. It’s very easy in our performance based environment to compare yourself with others and a certain amount of comparison is unavoidable. However, if we do this too much, our self-esteem goes down.  Connecting and learning from others with like skills causes our self-esteem to go up.  Connect and learn with the tools God gave you; don’t compare with others and sell yourself short.  There is a huge difference between the two.  See yourself with the wonderful package you are and learn to capitalize on those strengths and don’t worry about someone else.
• When you fail, as we all do, always maintain the following: (1) I can change it next time; (2) this is something to learn from; (3) it’s only temporary; and (4) only the process failed; not the person.  No matter how much someone fails, there is still value in that person.  Maybe not in the current process or job and maybe you have to part ways with someone, but always treat the person with value and dignity (and yourself) if you fail.
• Continue pushing yourself to expand your comfort zone, despite your fears. Expanding your comfort zone increases your confidence.  If you’re not failing occasionally, you’re not trying hard enough.  Write down 5 things you would like to improve and work toward those goals as hard as it may be.

I hope these suggestions help you until we can get together again.

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Overcoming Challenges in Life

There are thousands and thousands of books and resources about success and failure and how "to get ahead" in life.  There is certainly no magic formula to succeeding and your path to success will be different then mine.  Certainly, we all have different talents and abilities–and we need to develop those gifts and talents—but no amount of talent or ability will make you a success if that's all you focus on.  Over the years, it's occurred to me that there are six common obstacles to success.  So, I thought I would take a different approach and list some things I've learned that, if practiced, will do nothing to help you succeed.  Avoid these pitfalls and you'll see your chances of success improve greatly.

1. Having an Unteachable Spirit:  As someone who has hired, trained, and fired employees for years, there is nothing that dooms someone more quickly then being unteachable.  By unteachable, I mean the unwillingness to learn.  It always amazes me of the number of people that believe they have "arrived" and have nothing to learn. When approaching a new job or new venture, you should always take the humble approach that you don't know everything and you can always learn from those around you.
2. Having Unforgiven Offenses:  Forgiveness is one of the most difficult things we suffer with as Christians, as people.  When someone offends us or does something to harm us, our natural tendency is to fight back and seek revenge.  We offer many articles in our blog about forgiveness and can help you in this area, but suffice it to say that our refusal to forgive others only hurts us in the long run and hardens our heart.  You can't be a successful leader in life with a hardened heart.
3. Having Un-Wise Associations:  It has been said by many famous speakers, such as Zig Ziegler and others, that you are a product of the people around you and the books you read.  I totally agree.  In fact, it's often said that your behavior is a reflection of the 5 people you spend the most time with.  I couldn't agree more.  If you can't seem to break through your clutter or get to the next level, check your associations.  Who are you spending time with?  Do you need to change your network of friends and associates?
4. Having a Negative Tongue: You've heard the old cliche that misery loves company.  Leaders and successful people take steps to make themselves stand out from others.  When others look at you, others should see someone different.  They should see someone that they want to be like.  What they shouldn't see (or hear) is someone that constantly tears down others.  If you are constantly saying something negative about others, I would encourage you to check your own self-confidence and self-image. There are only two ways to make yourself stand above others:  you can work hard and do the right things to make yourself stand out, or you can knock others down.  Make sure you're not doing the latter.
5. Having Inconsistency in Your Actions:  Speaking as a Christian, there's nothing that sickens me more then seeing what we call "Sunday Christians."  We've all seen them–those that are in church and profess to be Christians on Sunday, but live otherwise during the week.  As Christians, we have to be consistent in our actions.  Our behaviors should be the same on Tuesday, as they are on Sunday.  As leaders, we can't treat people one way on Monday and a different way on Friday.  Certainly, we are all human and make mistakes; however, when others look at you, they should see he same person on Monday as they see on Saturday.
6. Having an Uncommitted Heart:  Committing to anything is often the fuel that sustains you during the tough times.  Our journey will always be filled with pitfalls and setbacks.  Without commitment, you'll give up and turn back.  Without commitment, you'll be influenced by anything or anyone in your path that seeks to prevent your success.  Remember, not everyone will want you to succeed.  Committing to your goal will enable you to move past the nay-sayers.

I can promise you, from my own experiences, if you improve your life in these six areas, you'll go a long way toward being a Godly success.

Refine Us Like Silver

I don't know about you but it seems like the past several months have just been extremely trying for several people I know.  I've seen my share of health issues and job concerns.  I've listened to concerns about finances and relationships.  All I could do in each situation is remind my friends of the goodness of God's love and grace and encourage them to keep going on.

I suppose I have a unique perspective because I've certainly had my share of difficulties at various times in my life.  God taught me so much through my various trials and its those hard learned lessons that I can now share with my friends and loved ones and, perhaps, give them some hope during their trials.  It also helps to keep me grounded and reminds me that, as Christians, none of us are immune from trials.  It's not a matter of if, but when.

When I am at the end of my rope and don't know what else to do, it helps to remember these things:

• Recognize Gods refinement in our lives:  Just like refining gold or silver, God continually molds and develops us into his image.  Sometimes the refining is painful and hurtful, but it always ends in a beautiful, shiny creation.  We have to trust the Lord during the refining process.
• Look for righteousness more than solutions:  I am preaching to the choir with this point.  I know that I always tend to search constantly for a solution and worry myself beyond measure.  Sometimes, I just need to stop. I need to take a breather from searching "how" and realize that God already has the solution.  It's just that HIS timing isn't always in sync with my timing.
• Remember it is not permanent:  While trials are inevitable, they're only temporary.  It may seem like your trial is lasting forever and that you can't take any more, but it will end.
• Recommit to full surrender:  Sometimes, what we are experiencing is a conflict between what God is directing us to do and what we stubbornly refuse to do.  It often helps to surrender our full life and will to God and allow him to fully direct our paths, not fight HIM the entire way.

As difficult as it is, always remember that you are one of God's Jewels and that God's refining produces gems with immeasurable beauty.

For You have tried us, O God; You have refined us as silver is refined.  Psalms 66: 10 (NIV)

Footprints for Others

My wife and I love to take an occasional stroll on the beach.  There's really not much more relaxing than walking along the edge of the water and watching all the wonderful sights.  I especially enjoy watching all the children playing in the sand and building those sand castle masterpieces.  The kids on the beach are so intense with their sand buckets and shovels and are so proud of what they've built.  There's just nothing like it.

On our most recent trip to the beach, we were able to do a little more walking than usual.  The beach meandered around the coastline for miles and miles.  We soon came across a pier that reached out into the ocean water several hundred feet or so.  We thought that this would be a nice place to sit a few moments and catch our breath so we both sat off to the side of the pier observing all the busy fishermen testing their skills.  We found a nice shady spot next to some large concrete support beams which shielded us temporarily from the heat of the day.

As I sat there, I noticed that we weren't the first ones of the day at this particular spot.  There were the remains of a small sand castle that was fighting to stay in tact from the onslaught of the crashing waves.  The small footprints that were once fresh in the sand, no doubt the builders of the sand castle, were now just barely visible.   It would only be a few more dozen waves until the sand would be a clean slate again, ready for the next day's activities. This was in stark contrast to the artwork I soon noticed in the concrete support beam next to us.  I wasn't sure when the pier was built, but --at the time it was built--someone decided to place themselves in immortality by carving a small heart in the concrete with the names of themselves and their loved one.  It was hardened in the concrete for all to see for as long as the concrete was standing.

I thought to myself how symbolic this was of God's Word and our Work in the Christian Life.  How often do we work and work and work, doing what we may feel the Lord has called us to do, only to see little reward-----at least in our own minds.  We wonder if anything we do in the Christian Life is permanent or simply temporary?  The important thing for us, as Christians, to remember is that if we are obedient, there will always be rewards if we don't grow weary.

That day on the beach showed me two types of Works.  One that was temporary and one that was permanent.  Whatever you are doing for the Lord, keep it up. HIS work has permanent results and is never in vain.  Don't quit and don't grow tired.  It may be years before you see results, or the results may not even be in your lifetime, but you'll always leave footprints hardened in the concrete for others to see, not washed away like the sands on the beach.

Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.  Galations 6: 9 (NIV)